I remember growing up and hearing my mom say the phrase “everybody is not your friend”. As kids we tend to place our trust in people without reservation. We would call someone we just met our “friend”, not knowing much about that person besides the fact that we like them at that moment.
Somewhere along the way of life, we get betrayed by a “friend”, we have a disagreement with a friend, and we even lose touch with a friend. We begin to realize that not all “friends” belong in our lives forever. We all understand seasons as they relate to the weather, but how about identifying seasons as they relate to your friends? What once worked may not work any longer. And as adults, we should understand and embrace it and just move on.
But we can’t just move on; we have a hard time letting go. What once was so great isn’t that great anymore and we wonder why. So now we try to force what no longer works until we have a falling out and start beefing. But why did it have to go there; why not just fall off when it’s time for change; when you feel the shift?
Notice the autumn season when leaves change color and fall off the branches? That could be the correlation with some friendships. It slowly changes until you just feel the need to fall off. It’s just a change in season. I have had friends where at one point, you couldn’t tell me we wouldn’t be close forever. From the good times we had to the things we discussed, we were two peas in a pod – for THAT SEASON. We never had a falling out, we aren’t beefing, we just aren’t that close anymore and we’re ok with that.
We’ve gotta learn to let go and not be mad when seasons change. Why are we so angry or hating someone when we fall off? Just because we aren’t as close as we once were, doesn’t mean we have a problem. It simply means the season we shared is over. Maybe we will be close again someday and maybe we won’t, but we had some good times and those memories will be cherished. Period.
On the flip side, if it’s a friendship that could be repaired, say you had a disagreement, or you lost touch, or whatever the case, REPAIR it! Good friends are truly hard to come by, so if you are truly connected, whatever happened is sure to be repairable. It’s okay to apologize when necessary; it’s okay to communicate like a grown up if you have a disagreement; likewise, it’s okay to disagree and still be friends.
We’ve all had that “friend” who was too needy, too prideful, too negative, too rude, too draining, too toxic, etc. But we’ve also had that friend who was REAL, genuine, sincere, positive and the vibe was just right. The good friend vs. the bad friend; which one are you? You pretty much attract what you put out.
On a Personal Note
I am loyal to the core, and just because we’re not close anymore doesn’t mean I don’t have your back. I don’t bad mouth my friends, you won’t find me subliminally posting about my friends on social media. I’m a grown up and if I need to apologize or if I have something to say to you, I will pull you aside and say it.
I observed a few friend circles that talk about one another at one moment and smile in one another’s face the next. I found myself in one or two of those circles before and had to withdraw myself. I don’t want to be that person. It just feels so wrong and dishonest.
I’m thankful for discernment and growth. I am able to discern when a season of friendship is over, when I need to withdraw, when I need to speak up, and when I need to just be quiet. I am constantly growing and learning to be a better me, in every area… DAILY and I only pray the same for you.
I’m all about organic friendships, positive vibes, genuine connections and honest conversations. If something rubs me the wrong way or vexes my spirit, I’m off that immediately! No apologies given for following my heart.
As always, thanks for reading!
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